If there are children, you need to discuss what you want your parenting plan to look like. In other words how do Mom & Dad spend time with their children? Do you need a more structured schedule or is one with more flexibility better for the children. Under Utah law, the parties or the Judge should always do what is in the best interest of the children. That may or may not be what either of the parents may individually prefer.

Divorce Considerations When Children Are Involved

So, if you have children you will need to talk about:

• Custodial arrangements (sole custody or joint custody, as to legal and physical) If you will have joint custody, a minimum of 111 overnights is required.
• How do we handle health insurance? Do we split the children’s portion or does one parent pay for the entire premium?
• What do we do about non-covered medical, dental, or vision expenses?
• What if our children are involved in extracurricular activities? Do we share the cost or have other arrangements.
• How do we handle claiming the children as income tax dependency exemptions?
• How much child support will each parent pay? The Utah State Child Support Calculator determines this.
• What about life insurance?
• Do the children have any separate accounts? How will they be maintained?

Additionally you will need to discuss the issues outlined in a previous post for divorcing couples without children.

With the help and guidance of a knowledgeable and skilled mediator, you will work through these issues and reach an agreement that sits well with both of the parties.

Divorce Mediation & Alimony

If the parties have no minor children they will need to discuss the following issues:

• If you own a home, what do you plan to do with it? Will it be sold or will one party keep the home? Is there any equity in the home? What will you do about the equity? Will one party’s name be removed from the mortgage if the other party keeps the home?

• What about personal property? Cars, boats, motorcycles, ATV’s. Household furniture and furnishings. Who gets what?

• Debts and liabilities will need to be determined, including credit card debt, installment loans, debts on vehicles, etc.

• Will alimony be necessary? How do we determine the amount, if it is?

• Are there retirement plans? Does each of the parties have retirement plans? Does only one party have a plan? What if they are unequal, what do we do if we both want to have the same amount of retirement incomes? Can we divide the plans without tax liability?

• Life insurance? Is it needed? How much? What is the term?

Certainly most couples will not have all of the answers to these questions but this is a good starting point for your discussion.

With the help and guidance of a knowledgeable and skilled mediator, you will work through these issues and reach an agreement that sits well with both of the parties.

The short answer is no, you do not need to hire a lawyer. But the best way to look at it is by examining the pros & cons of your situation. Is your situation mutually agreed upon or does one spouse really oppose taking a cooperative path? Even if you agree on everything do you know what to do?

Do you have children? How is child custody and support determined? Do you have assets? Liabilities? Retirement accounts? Will alimony be an issue? There are many legal complexities dealing with these issues that can be a pitfall for the uninformed.

In Utah, if one of the parties wants to get divorced, no matter how much the other party doesn’t, they will be able to get divorced. It is better to participate in what your Decree of Divorce states, even though divorce is not what you may want, than to stand by and watch what happens with no input concerning the outcome.

Come to a better divorce agreement through mediation and avoid the cost of hiring attorneys.

When an attorney is hired, they can only represent the party hiring them. They cannot ethically represent both parties. So what if one party hires a lawyer and the other party doesn’t? Your spouse’s lawyer cannot represent you. A divorce mediator represents neither party but is required to be neutral and help BOTH parties reach a mutually acceptable outcome.

Fortunately most people don’t have a lot of experience getting divorced so they don’t know what they don’t know.

Getting divorced is not easy emotionally and sometimes financially. The path has many pitfalls and detours. An experienced divorce mediator can help navigate the path by working with you to tell you what the law requires and what the statutes say. Many times a couple will say they agree on everything, but then they find out that they didn’t know all of the issues they had to agree upon.

In mediation, the individual parties make all the decisions. The mediator should give them all the information they need so that they can make informed decisions. The divorce mediator acts as the guide through this process helping with the issues that must be dealt with in a manner that the court will accept.

If the divorce documents are not prepared property, the Final Decree of Divorce does not get signed until they are done correctly.

Getting divorced is one of the most important decisions a couple will make. It determines their financial obligations, child support, custody, parenting plans, division of assets, liabilities, retirement accounts, their home and their future relationship. Would anyone really want to leave these important issues to filling in the blanks on a form? Every couple is different, and how they deal with those issues is also different. Consequently their agreement will be different from another couple with similar issues.

An experienced divorce mediator with a background of legal skills can help with the required documents needed to prepare you for the next phase of your life.

Fortunately, divorce mediation can speed up the process and save you a significant amount of money. In the state of Utah, you do not need to hire a divorce lawyer if an agreement can be constructed through mediation.  Find out more about the benefits of divorce mediation.

If you plan to file for divorce in the state of Utah, here are a few things to consider before taking any initial steps:

• You or your spouse must have legal Utah residence for at least 3 months immediately prior to filing. When child custody is an issue, the child must be residing with one or both of the parents in Utah for at least six months with some exceptions. See all Utah divorce residency requirements.
• Determine your grounds for divorce.  Usually you can say “there are irreconcilable differences”
• Be prepared financially for the costs associated with divorce. Divorce mediation can significantly reduce your total costs, even in cases where collaboration between the parties seems impossible.
• Divorce mediation is required by HB 004, which was passed in 2005 by the state’s legislature. While there are some exceptions, a majority of the cases still legally require mediation.

Ready to File for Divorce?

As an approved mediator on Utah’s Court Roster, I can assist with the paperwork required to file divorce. In cases where mediation is successful in defining settlement terms, divorce attorneys are unnecessary. If you have retained a divorce attorney, they can file the initial paperwork with the district court on your behalf as well. As the petitioner (individual requesting the divorce) looking to file on your own, you will find the OCAP document preparation site helpful. However, be aware that you merely answer questions on this site and it prints about 100 pages of information based on your answers to the questions. It does not give you the opportunity to be creative or vary from the stock answers. It also does not explain the legal terminology.

Before Filing, to Simplify:

• After reaching agreement in mediation a Stipulation can be prepared setting forth all of the terms of your Final Decree of Divorce
• Process DOES NOT have to be served because everything is agreed upon
• ALL required documents are filed at one time, shortening the process so the paperwork can be signed by the Judge
• NO COURT APPEARANCE IS NECESSARY

Next Steps After Filing for Divorce, if simplified process above is not followed:

• The petitioner must serve the documents to their spouse within 120 days of filing. The respondent has 20 days (within Utah) and 30 days (outside of Utah) to file an answer to the divorce petition.
• After a response has been received, financial declarations are made.
• In most cases with no children in the marriage, a 90-day waiting period is required between the filing date and the signing of the divorce decree. I can file a Request to Waive the waiting period.
• Divorce education classes are mandatory in Utah when minor children are involved. Optional divorce education classes specifically designed for children are offered, but not required.
• Mandatory divorce mediation occurs when there are contested issues around the final settlement terms. Even when both parties are in agreement, a single mediation session can be helpful to ensure that the end settlement is equitable and beneficial to all individuals involved.
• Temporary orders can be obtained through the court to provide direction on issues such as child custody, financial situations, and more during divorce proceedings.
• The divorce is finalized after a judge signs the decree.

Please note that the above steps outline Utah’s divorce process and are only intended to give a general guide around what to expect. Most divorce cases are not straightforward and sometimes involve a trial, appeals, and modifications to the original settlement terms. Please refer to the Utah State Courts Divorce website for complete information on all legal requirements, or contact me to get started with a free initial consultation.

Again, remember that mediation can save you time and money during your divorce, typically with better outcomes!